Home Again!

Thomas Wolfe, a noted American writer, and University of North Carolina graduate, penned a novel called, “You Can’t Go Home Again.” The book, published posthumously, in 1940, two years after Wolfe died, posed the premise that one cannot recapture the past.

On its face, that is a plausible assertion. The world is a dynamic orb, and our roles in it are constantly evolving. However, long before Wolfe wrote what would become a classic novel; American blacks effectively refuted the central theme of his tome. With the celebration of Juneteenth, June 19th, 1865, and other Jubilee Festivals across America during the period, the foundation for the Modern-Day Black Family Reunion was established.

We were reminded of the wide-ranging scope of this phenomenon, collectively, as we made an impromptu e-visit to the Rand Family Reunion, during CNN’s Black in America last week. But more pointedly, over the course of this summer, many of us, including me, have had the opportunity to participate in our own Family Reunions.

As a matter of fact, with apologies to Wallace and Bethany Ford Graham, and Dempsey and Mardecia Wiggins, progenitors of both my paternal and maternal lineage, and all their progeny, I was privileged to complete a Family Reunion two-step this month, by attending reunions for both sides of my family.

The Grahams and Wiggins adhered dutifully to the admonition to be fruitful and multiply. Since I did not tell them I would be writing about them (subscribing to the “It is easier to beg forgiveness than to elicit permission” Rule), I owe lots of people (Did I say “we” were fruitful?) an apology. I’m sorry cousins!

Traveling the 4 hours and 250 miles across the state from Charlotte to Kinston, (http://www.ci.kinston.nc.us/), a couple of times in a month provides significant time for reflection. Sixteen hours in a car, even spread over a couple of weekends, is a significant span of time.

Not having lived in Kinston in 46 years, there are a lot of people-facts, events, and just plain old history that I missed as my home town and family unfolded over time. Nothing during that time, and possibly in the history of Kinston impacted the community more than the flooding brought on by Hurricanes Fran, and Floyd, in 1996, and 1999, respectively. Fran delivered 16 inches of rain on the area, while Floyd left 17 inches, and the ravages of a 500-year flood level reached by the Neuse River. A decade later, there are places that still evoke thoughts of 3rd World neglect.

One part of my serial reflection revolved around recognizing, that while those sights are painful to observe, I can only image how incredibly challenging being in the midst of it was to endure. But as I engaged, and was engaged by family members who not only never left, but never thought of leaving, I was reminded that this was not just a place to host a Family Reunion, but it was home; the center of my family’s universe, both sides of it.

During any family reunion, the agenda will likely encompass a creative array of activities. There are often games, fashion shows, worship services, and always plenty of opportunities to eat. Those things not withstanding, the one thing more than any other that is sure to resonate is the people. There are favorite cousins (mine has always been Cousin Theron, who was born 5 days before me, but I have now given equal billing to double-Cousin Ruby, 1st Cousin on my dad’s side, and 2nd Cousin on my mom’s side), aunts, uncles, nieces, and nephews, proud mothers and fathers, precious babies, and enough poignant moments to fill a mental, digital, or leather photo album.

Family members assembled from across America. We had kin from up and down the Eastern Seaboard, and from as far away as Colorado and Arizona. Yet, I venture to say, more often than not, number 1 on the top 10 Countdown of Family Reunion memory-makers is reserved, as it was with the Grahams and Wiggins, for those sage “elders of the family.” Those grandparents, great grandparents, and other eldest surviving family members; they carry the legacy torch, and they do it regally.

I raptly observed (and greatly appreciated) their stately grace, as well as the deference and respect with which they were accorded by the entire family. Cousin Onetia Graham Martin, the proverbial font of all things historical related to the Graham Family, and Cousin Roy Wiggins, the 84-year-old, still active Deacon at Savannah Free Will Baptist Church (our home church), the eldest surviving grandson of Dempsey and Mardecia. They make being a scion of the Graham and Wiggins families a signal honor; an unparalleled privilege.

We have not had a lot of Family Reunions on either side of my family. But as I greeted old, familiar relations, and established contacts with new (to me) ones, I felt certain that if we have a Family Reunion, on either side, I will make attending a priority. It was great to connect/reconnect with, and/or know that there are physicians, professors, entrepreneurs, college and professional athletes (and yes Antoine, I will be looking for you when College of Charleston is hooping), an Olympian, ministers, and lots of hard working salt-of-the-earth people in my family. That’s all good. But it’s cousins Onetia and Roy I will reflect upon most fondly...and often.

Without a doubt, the final reflection on my trips was, not only could I go home again; I was compelled to make the journey! Holla back!

Read my blog anytime by clicking the link: http://thesphinxofcharlotte.blogspot.com. A new post is published each Wednesday.


http://ac360.blogs.cnn.com/2008/07/23/meeting-cousin-rubystein/

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/23/rand.ancestry/index.html

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_n10_v48/ai_13276665

http://lhh.fimark.net/family-reunion-planner.html

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http://www.temple.edu/fri/history.html

http://www.blackvoices.com/black-family-reunion/planning-tips

http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2004/08/20/loc_blackfamily21.html

http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1077/is_9_61/ai_n26906126